WEBVTT - This file has cues. 00:00:00.060 --> 00:00:04.740 Hey, how are you? And if you say you're fine, I'm gonna 00:00:04.740 --> 00:00:10.260 assume you mean, like, the acronym. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, 00:00:10.620 --> 00:00:13.920 and emotional. So, 00:00:13.920 --> 00:00:18.180 have you heard the term life quake? Well, in this podcast, 00:00:18.180 --> 00:00:21.750 we talk about life quakes, those unpredictable seismic shifts that, 00:00:21.750 --> 00:00:25.950 in time, lead to profound personal growth and empowerment. 00:00:26.580 --> 00:00:31.740 Here you can expect heartfelt stories that reveal both the joy and the 00:00:31.740 --> 00:00:38.040 discomfort of unexpected change. And I think you're gonna like it 00:00:38.040 --> 00:00:40.950 here. My name is Shawn, 00:00:41.250 --> 00:00:44.280 and this is something shifted. 00:00:49.950 --> 00:00:54.570 Today's story belongs to Verity. Your life is a book. 00:00:54.570 --> 00:00:57.570 If you're not enjoying the read. Pick up your pen and write a 00:00:57.570 --> 00:01:00.650 different story. That's next. 00:01:09.320 --> 00:01:12.200 I know you're busy, and planning what your family will 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:16.460 eat isn't always top of mind. Well, that's why we love you, cook. 00:01:16.460 --> 00:01:20.060 And I can give you 50% off your first order. 00:01:20.180 --> 00:01:24.560 You cook has really helped us eat tasty, nutritious food, 00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:27.800 and it saves me from spending time in the shops because they deliver 00:01:27.800 --> 00:01:31.280 all of the ingredients for my chosen meal kits right to my door. 00:01:31.370 --> 00:01:35.330 You cook's always adding new recipes to the website, and I've even picked 00:01:35.330 --> 00:01:38.510 up some new skills because of their easy to follow recipe cards. 00:01:38.510 --> 00:01:42.110 And because you cook gives you exactly what you need for each 00:01:42.110 --> 00:01:47.030 recipe. You never waste any food. 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That's you cuckoo Rosetta and use 00:02:28.280 --> 00:02:35.030 the code hash shift 50 at checkout to get 50% off your first order. 00:02:35.180 --> 00:02:36.320 Do it today. 00:02:45.650 --> 00:02:49.100 There's a saying that you regret more the things you didn't do 00:02:49.100 --> 00:02:52.760 than the things you actually did. Sometimes we use the saying to 00:02:52.760 --> 00:02:58.270 justify big, bold moves like splurging on a luxury item or to 00:02:58.270 --> 00:03:04.180 excuse some outlandish behavior. But in reality, the things you didn't 00:03:04.180 --> 00:03:09.520 do, the what ifs, the could have, would have, should haves. 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:15.520 The if onlys can haunt you for a long time. 00:03:15.910 --> 00:03:19.840 The biggest regrets I have is a 23. You don't really tell your 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:24.670 parents how awesome they are. How many of us can honestly say 00:03:24.670 --> 00:03:28.000 that we were showing our parents gratitude in our younger years? 00:03:28.420 --> 00:03:31.870 And why would we? For most of us in our teens and 00:03:31.870 --> 00:03:37.300 20s especially, were finding ourselves in this great big world 00:03:37.300 --> 00:03:42.940 and life is full of possibilities. We live fast and hard, 00:03:42.940 --> 00:03:48.760 with little capacity to appreciate what and who we have. 00:03:49.450 --> 00:03:53.740 My dad was he was a character. He was 48 when I was born, so he was 00:03:53.740 --> 00:03:57.790 a much older dad back in the 70s. That was like really geriatric. 00:03:57.790 --> 00:04:00.880 So I had this older dad. He was tall, he was skinny, 00:04:00.880 --> 00:04:03.040 he was bald. He would when you'd pick me up, 00:04:03.040 --> 00:04:06.250 people thought he was my grandfather. So as a teenager I was always like, 00:04:06.250 --> 00:04:14.470 oh, it's so uncool. But now, looking back very. 00:04:14.500 --> 00:04:18.400 He can see clearly how cool her dad actually was. 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:23.650 So he was reading any book around the power of the mind, you know, 00:04:23.650 --> 00:04:26.350 Think and Grow Rich or How to Win Friends and Influence people. 00:04:26.350 --> 00:04:31.000 And then the poor man were trying to share it with his opinionated 00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:35.110 teenage daughter and, you know. So come on, dad, like, really? 00:04:35.110 --> 00:04:38.080 What do you know? So he actually took to writing 00:04:38.080 --> 00:04:40.750 me letters and he would leave them at the top of the stairwell 00:04:40.750 --> 00:04:43.120 in our house. You know, if I'd been in a 00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:46.570 particularly bad mood or a real brat, and he'd be like, it's very hard 00:04:46.570 --> 00:04:49.300 living with a 16 year old, and I can see you going through a lot. 00:04:49.300 --> 00:04:51.190 And then he'd give me all this advice going, 00:04:51.190 --> 00:04:57.420 maybe this will make sense later. And he just did that relentlessly. 00:04:59.310 --> 00:05:03.540 At the time, Verity didn't realise the value of these letters. 00:05:03.750 --> 00:05:09.300 I mean, she was just 16, but her dad stuck with it, 00:05:09.300 --> 00:05:15.360 kept writing her letters, knowing in his hard earned wisdom that these 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:20.820 things will be important in time. I mean, I speak about my dad a lot. 00:05:20.850 --> 00:05:26.130 The man's had world acclaim in speeches I've done because he 00:05:26.130 --> 00:05:31.410 really was such an inspiration. Verity was 24 and pursuing a 00:05:31.410 --> 00:05:37.110 music career as a songwriter in London when her dad became ill. 00:05:37.650 --> 00:05:41.940 My sister and and my mom didn't want to tell me that my dad was so sick. 00:05:41.940 --> 00:05:45.450 He they thought he had flu, so they were downplaying it to me. 00:05:45.810 --> 00:05:49.950 But something in me just was like. And I was about to go to Scotland 00:05:49.950 --> 00:05:53.310 with friends and my dad said, go have fun. That'll be amazing. 00:05:53.460 --> 00:05:55.680 And then I thought, you know what? I'm going to surprise them. 00:05:55.830 --> 00:05:59.670 But with just a few days before Verity was supposed to fly out 00:05:59.670 --> 00:06:03.960 and surprise her family back in South Africa, she had this 00:06:03.960 --> 00:06:09.390 overwhelming sense of dread. Three days before I was meant to 00:06:09.390 --> 00:06:14.250 leave, I had this bizarre feeling and I kept phoning my mum to check 00:06:14.250 --> 00:06:17.580 on my dad and I'd phoned him on the way to hospital, you know, 00:06:17.580 --> 00:06:20.370 and and said, dad, are you okay? I'm worried about you. 00:06:20.370 --> 00:06:22.740 And and my dad, with this quirky sense of humour, 00:06:22.740 --> 00:06:26.010 had said, don't worry. You know, I love breakfast in bed. 00:06:26.580 --> 00:06:33.750 He just was an absolute card. But despite her dad's attempts at 00:06:33.750 --> 00:06:38.160 making her feel more comfortable and that things were going to be okay, 00:06:38.820 --> 00:06:45.420 Verity still had this uneasy feeling. And eventually I got hold of my mom 00:06:45.420 --> 00:06:48.390 and she was sobbing and I was like, what's happened? 00:06:48.390 --> 00:06:52.970 And she said he had a stroke in the ambulance being transferred. 00:06:53.630 --> 00:06:57.710 I managed to get off the phone and get on a flight in December from 00:06:57.710 --> 00:07:01.940 London to Cape Town that night. Change my ticket was unbelievable. 00:07:01.940 --> 00:07:04.700 Friends dropped everything. Some of them ran out of their jobs 00:07:04.700 --> 00:07:08.240 just to get me to the airport, and that was the longest 13 hour 00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:12.110 flight of my life. Verity spent those 13 hours 00:07:12.110 --> 00:07:16.100 strapped into a seat thousands of meters up in the air. 00:07:16.430 --> 00:07:20.900 She was making her way home without knowing what reality would be waiting 00:07:20.900 --> 00:07:25.160 for her when she lands, not knowing if her dad would be able to greet her 00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:32.840 when she touched down in Cape Town. And I was shaken to my to my core. 00:07:32.840 --> 00:07:36.500 And we had a week with him and it was really rough because he 00:07:36.500 --> 00:07:39.440 was paralysed. So this very verbal father that 00:07:39.440 --> 00:07:42.080 I'd had could just look at me with his eyes, and he was totally 00:07:42.080 --> 00:07:43.820 paralysed from the stroke. He couldn't speak, 00:07:43.820 --> 00:07:47.660 he couldn't swallow. And yeah, it was deeply, 00:07:47.660 --> 00:07:51.170 deeply traumatic. Watching that and having to 00:07:51.170 --> 00:07:55.160 realize that he was never going to see me do anything with my life. 00:07:55.160 --> 00:07:58.280 You wouldn't walk me down the aisle. He wouldn't meet my children. 00:07:59.210 --> 00:08:02.690 He had a living will. He was someone. If it's my time, it's my time. 00:08:02.750 --> 00:08:07.190 But yeah, it was. It was really hard. And that living will, we had to 00:08:07.190 --> 00:08:12.650 override it because it had stipulated that there would be no tube feeding. 00:08:12.650 --> 00:08:14.480 But I think when you sign something like that, 00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:17.600 you think you're unconscious. At that point, he was fully awake 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:20.810 and aware, and we didn't know if he was going to survive or not. 00:08:20.810 --> 00:08:24.320 And we realized it wasn't for us to choose that. 00:08:24.320 --> 00:08:27.320 It's not if he you could see he was hungry. It was. Yeah. 00:08:27.320 --> 00:08:32.900 It was a really, really hard week. Veritas dad had contracted a 00:08:32.900 --> 00:08:37.700 staphylococcus infection in his heart, which caused those flu like 00:08:37.700 --> 00:08:43.460 symptoms when he initially fell ill. That infection went on to cause 00:08:43.460 --> 00:08:46.450 a stroke. And because of the stroke, 00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:49.750 the doctors were not able to operate on his heart. 00:08:50.260 --> 00:08:55.510 And after what was a really, really hard week, there, it his 00:08:55.510 --> 00:09:01.150 father passed away. It threw me. I went from being a very upbeat, 00:09:01.150 --> 00:09:05.920 bubbly girl to someone who struggled with small talk at, you know, 00:09:05.920 --> 00:09:08.530 because everyone was still partying and was still going to bars and 00:09:08.530 --> 00:09:11.560 clubs, and I actually couldn't do it anymore because I'd really 00:09:11.560 --> 00:09:15.730 seen the the reality of life that we lose the ones we love. 00:09:19.660 --> 00:09:23.890 There it is, the baby in the family. She was in her mid-twenties when her 00:09:23.890 --> 00:09:29.350 dad passed away, while her siblings were in their late 30s and had grown 00:09:29.350 --> 00:09:33.970 up lives that they needed to return to to make sense of this loss in 00:09:33.970 --> 00:09:40.840 their own way. So when they left. Verity stayed and I was with my mom. 00:09:40.840 --> 00:09:43.000 I mean, I actually the minute I got home, 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:46.240 I got into her bed and I slept in her bed with her for months because I 00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:50.800 couldn't handle the pain of seeing her having lost her life partner. 00:09:50.800 --> 00:09:53.470 So I think I took that on because, you know, 00:09:53.470 --> 00:09:58.630 my sister and brother had left, and so I was the one who stayed at home. 00:09:58.720 --> 00:10:02.650 Verity sense of loss carried over into her work. 00:10:02.800 --> 00:10:05.260 I think I processed it through my music. 00:10:05.260 --> 00:10:08.950 I wrote a song about him forever and me, and it was really just 00:10:08.950 --> 00:10:12.430 celebrating the lessons he taught me and how he'd guided me. 00:10:12.820 --> 00:10:18.310 At the time of her dad's passing, Verity was a songwriter, and what she 00:10:18.310 --> 00:10:25.030 really wanted was to be a singer. But fear had held her back and 00:10:25.030 --> 00:10:28.060 her dad knew this. The last letter he ever wrote me. 00:10:28.060 --> 00:10:30.610 I was living in London, too afraid to start singing, 00:10:30.610 --> 00:10:34.120 feeling sorry for myself. And he took the time to write me a 00:10:34.120 --> 00:10:38.800 four page letter about how all the people in our family my brother, 00:10:38.800 --> 00:10:41.320 my sister, other examples had turned their lives 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:47.250 around and that I had that choice. Verdi's dad had always believed 00:10:47.250 --> 00:10:51.450 in the power of the mind, and this was a way of being that was 00:10:51.450 --> 00:10:57.120 modeled to her from a very young age. We were a very cerebral family, 00:10:57.120 --> 00:11:01.260 so it was always these big dinners around our dining room table and 00:11:01.260 --> 00:11:04.470 talking about the power of the mind. Both my parents were into it, 00:11:04.470 --> 00:11:09.210 my brother and sister were into it. So from a young age I was watching 00:11:09.210 --> 00:11:13.200 the people I loved and admired play with manifestation, play with. 00:11:13.230 --> 00:11:15.630 They were doing affirmations. I mean, this is coming out of 00:11:15.630 --> 00:11:19.230 the 70s and 80s. They had all those tapes that 00:11:19.230 --> 00:11:22.080 people used to listen to. So I was brought up with that. 00:11:22.080 --> 00:11:26.400 And so while his death shook her to her core verities, dad had given 00:11:26.400 --> 00:11:32.490 her 24 years worth of lessons and countless number of letters about 00:11:32.490 --> 00:11:36.630 believing in the power of dreams. And I didn't know what to do. 00:11:36.630 --> 00:11:39.960 But I also knew that I could not live a life rooted in fear, and I 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:43.350 couldn't live a life where I was putting my dreams off till tomorrow, 00:11:43.350 --> 00:11:46.710 because my dad's death had shown me that tomorrow is not guaranteed. 00:11:46.920 --> 00:11:52.260 And so I did at that point make a very strange decision a few 00:11:52.260 --> 00:11:56.670 months after he died. And that decision was to run the 00:11:56.670 --> 00:12:02.040 Knysna Half Marathon with a friend. I don't run, I'm not very fit. 00:12:02.040 --> 00:12:04.710 But I said yes because it would give me something to do. 00:12:05.880 --> 00:12:10.530 Grief can make you do strange things. Although Verity said yes to 00:12:10.530 --> 00:12:13.680 doing a half marathon, the thought of actually training 00:12:13.680 --> 00:12:19.620 for it was exhausting. And she did what many of us do. 00:12:19.950 --> 00:12:24.210 She started listing all the excuses why she wouldn't, couldn't, 00:12:24.210 --> 00:12:29.070 shouldn't do the half marathon. But then she remembered a book by 00:12:29.070 --> 00:12:34.200 Paulo Coelho called The Pilgrimage. And that's when Verity decided that 00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:41.330 she needed her own pilgrimage. So rather than run the Knysna Half 00:12:41.330 --> 00:12:46.610 Marathon, she decided to walk the Camino de Santiago across Spain. 00:12:46.820 --> 00:12:49.760 And so, in my mind, I thought it was easier to walk 00:12:49.760 --> 00:12:56.120 800 k's than it was to run 21. And I made a decision in a day. 00:12:56.120 --> 00:13:00.410 I signed up to go and start walking on the six month anniversary of 00:13:00.410 --> 00:13:04.640 my dad's death, and what would have been his 72nd birthday. 00:13:05.270 --> 00:13:09.920 And that was the hardest thing I'd ever done. 00:13:09.920 --> 00:13:13.550 I did it on my own, but I did it in his memory, 00:13:13.550 --> 00:13:18.020 and I did it to show myself that I could finish something I could start 00:13:18.020 --> 00:13:21.680 and I could finish something hard. And I called it a journey for the 00:13:21.680 --> 00:13:25.850 soul and the souls, because my word, my feet were a mess at the end. 00:13:25.940 --> 00:13:29.480 But when I got to Santiago and I could look at a country and go, 00:13:29.480 --> 00:13:32.930 wow, I've walked across that. I can walk onto a stage, 00:13:32.930 --> 00:13:36.440 I can take a chance, I can try. And I came home and that's when 00:13:36.440 --> 00:13:37.640 I recorded a demo. 00:13:45.140 --> 00:13:49.490 We make this show as a labor of love, and because we believe stories 00:13:49.490 --> 00:13:52.820 about possibility are what the world needs to hear. 00:13:53.030 --> 00:13:56.180 And we'd love it if you left the show a five star review and 00:13:56.180 --> 00:14:02.000 followed something shifted on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify or wherever 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:06.920 you listen to good podcasts. Go ahead and share this story of 00:14:06.920 --> 00:14:09.590 possibility with someone you love, too. 00:14:12.470 --> 00:14:16.850 So Verity walked the Camino de Santiago, and she returned with a 00:14:16.850 --> 00:14:21.290 new vision for her music career to record her demo and finally 00:14:21.290 --> 00:14:24.200 conquer her stage fright. Now, Verity had dabbled with 00:14:24.200 --> 00:14:27.680 visualization and tapping into the power of your mind, manifesting 00:14:27.680 --> 00:14:31.550 your dreams when she was younger. It's actually how she came to be 00:14:31.550 --> 00:14:34.460 in London as a songwriter in the first place, and one of the 00:14:34.460 --> 00:14:38.440 clearest examples of tapping into the power of her mind for Verity 00:14:38.470 --> 00:14:43.300 happened four years earlier. When she was 20, she attended a 00:14:43.300 --> 00:14:46.090 workshop with her sister and heard the story about someone who'd 00:14:46.090 --> 00:14:50.650 written a letter to the future as if something had already happened. 00:14:51.130 --> 00:14:53.860 I was struggling to work out how to get into the music industry 00:14:53.860 --> 00:14:57.640 because I was writing lyrics, but I was struggling with the music. 00:14:57.640 --> 00:15:00.190 My music was a bit. It was sweet, but it wasn't great. 00:15:00.190 --> 00:15:03.820 And I was like, oh, I just need to find someone who is great with music, 00:15:03.820 --> 00:15:06.640 struggles with lyrics, has a record deal so I can get 00:15:06.640 --> 00:15:10.660 my words out into the world. And so K, my sister said, well, 00:15:10.660 --> 00:15:13.570 why don't you write a letter? So I was like, okay, why not? 00:15:13.570 --> 00:15:17.140 And I went home and I still remember I dated at the 20th of November 00:15:17.140 --> 00:15:22.600 and it would have been 1995. And I said, dear perfect music 00:15:22.600 --> 00:15:26.830 Writing partner, I'm so excited I met you tonight at LA made unbelievable 00:15:26.830 --> 00:15:29.260 that you have a record deal. I put it all in there and said, 00:15:29.260 --> 00:15:32.110 like, I can't wait to make music with you. Love, Verity. 00:15:32.110 --> 00:15:35.670 And I put it in my drawer and I got on with exams at university. 00:15:35.670 --> 00:15:39.510 And when the 20th of November came, I was actually far away from Cape Town. 00:15:39.510 --> 00:15:41.610 And I remember going, oh, I was meant to be at Le Made 00:15:41.610 --> 00:15:45.360 like that didn't happen. I got back a week later and one 00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:48.600 of the friends I'd been there with like phoned up and said, oh, 00:15:48.600 --> 00:15:53.670 let's, why don't we go to Lamda? It was 1995, and the vibe that night 00:15:53.670 --> 00:16:00.660 at Le Made just wasn't giving. So Verity and her friend decided 00:16:00.660 --> 00:16:03.990 to leave. But as they got up to walk out 00:16:03.990 --> 00:16:07.350 the door. A guy came running after us and said, 00:16:07.350 --> 00:16:09.210 are you girls going? Don't you want to come have a 00:16:09.210 --> 00:16:11.640 drink with me and my friend? And we were like, oh my word, 00:16:11.640 --> 00:16:14.400 not this. And then something in me went, 00:16:14.400 --> 00:16:18.210 just say yes. So we said okay and we went over 00:16:18.210 --> 00:16:21.120 and he had this quiet little guy sitting next to them and he said, 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:22.680 this is Tom. And we're like, hi, Tom, 00:16:22.680 --> 00:16:24.720 nice to meet you. And he says, Tom is the lead 00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:28.470 singer of Black Diamond. And I was like, what? 00:16:28.500 --> 00:16:31.230 And we chatted and I said, you know. And he said, no, I write the music. 00:16:31.230 --> 00:16:34.950 I really struggle with lyrics. Just like Verity had written in 00:16:34.950 --> 00:16:38.280 her letter two months earlier. I don't think I've ever told 00:16:38.280 --> 00:16:42.510 this story before, and I was like, no ways. 00:16:42.510 --> 00:16:46.740 And I was in the BMG studio as a week later I wrote lyrics for 00:16:46.740 --> 00:16:50.040 two songs for them and one of them was called southbound. 00:16:50.070 --> 00:16:54.870 That band became Semi Sane. Tom left and it was the lead song for 00:16:54.870 --> 00:16:59.400 Big Brother when it first came out. My jaw dropped when I first heard 00:16:59.400 --> 00:17:03.300 this story, and variety goes on to say that she learned a very valuable 00:17:03.300 --> 00:17:09.690 lesson through this exercise in 1995, and that is to be very specific 00:17:09.690 --> 00:17:13.140 about the details. Now, the only thing I didn't 00:17:13.140 --> 00:17:17.190 stipulate in my letter was that I got writing credits or royalties, 00:17:18.840 --> 00:17:24.480 but I got exactly what I'd asked for, and I think because I'd done it 00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:27.360 in such a playful way, not really thinking it would work, 00:17:27.360 --> 00:17:31.490 there was just no resistance in the way of that manifesting, 00:17:31.490 --> 00:17:34.550 but it was freaky. And that's the kind of stuff that, 00:17:34.550 --> 00:17:37.130 like, my family had encouraged and we played with. 00:17:37.130 --> 00:17:39.800 And, you know, I've tried it many times with the lottery. 00:17:39.800 --> 00:17:44.090 It's never worked, but there's been a few times where 00:17:44.090 --> 00:17:47.810 that's the influence and that's the magic they've helped me create. 00:17:48.140 --> 00:17:51.980 So with the visualization and the positivity that her parents 00:17:51.980 --> 00:17:55.460 instilled in her, together with the experiences of the universe 00:17:55.460 --> 00:18:01.040 responding to her dreams and the confidence she slowly forged on that 00:18:01.040 --> 00:18:06.080 800 kilometer walk across Spain, Verity knew she wanted to get 00:18:06.080 --> 00:18:08.750 over her stage fright. They might move to America. 00:18:08.750 --> 00:18:11.720 Had followed a man to America, as we say, great life choice. 00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:14.960 But it got me there and I was having to tell people I was a singer and 00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:18.950 I was trying to get things going. So the person who helped me get 00:18:18.950 --> 00:18:22.640 over my stage fright was a singing coach in America called Joe, 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:27.110 and he was this African American man, retired Motown singer, looked like 00:18:27.110 --> 00:18:31.160 James Brown, absolute Character, and I went to Joe for lessons because 00:18:31.160 --> 00:18:34.280 I still was incredibly nervous. I lacked confidence, 00:18:34.670 --> 00:18:37.850 and he was like, Verity, I'm not going to teach you how to sing. 00:18:37.850 --> 00:18:40.040 I'm going to teach you how to be confident. 00:18:40.460 --> 00:18:43.880 I was like, okay, well, good luck. Let's see how you do that. 00:18:43.880 --> 00:18:47.840 And Joe's way of teaching confidence was to make anything 00:18:47.840 --> 00:18:51.170 that could go wrong go wrong. He would interrupt me. 00:18:51.170 --> 00:18:53.060 He would turn up the music, turn down the music, 00:18:53.060 --> 00:18:57.020 knock over the mic, shout at me. And every time I would lose my place, 00:18:57.020 --> 00:19:00.470 he'd be Verity. When things go wrong, just keep on. 00:19:01.220 --> 00:19:04.790 And at the end of my three months with him, I wasn't sure if the 00:19:04.790 --> 00:19:07.910 lessons were working, but I was clear my relationship wasn't working. 00:19:07.910 --> 00:19:11.600 So I came home and something had worked because I had the courage 00:19:11.600 --> 00:19:16.250 to get on stage. And Joe was right. She'd done it. 00:19:16.250 --> 00:19:20.150 Verity had overcome her stage fright and had slowly started building 00:19:20.150 --> 00:19:24.170 her music career by gigging around Cape Town, and in order to take her 00:19:24.170 --> 00:19:28.720 career to the next level, Verity knew she needed to record an album, 00:19:29.140 --> 00:19:34.210 but she didn't have the 300,000 odd rand to make that happen. 00:19:34.480 --> 00:19:37.630 And I got stuck at that point where I think a lot of people get 00:19:37.630 --> 00:19:40.750 stuck going. There's my dream. Here's an obstacle. 00:19:41.080 --> 00:19:45.070 Life's not fair, people. Why me? And I was that person, 00:19:45.070 --> 00:19:49.270 and my dad would not have been proud. Like I got into a proper victim state 00:19:49.480 --> 00:19:53.140 and I stayed there for two years. And then eventually I was like, 00:19:53.140 --> 00:19:55.240 I either have to give up or have to get creative. 00:19:55.240 --> 00:19:59.350 Something needs to shift. And that was when I sat down with 00:19:59.350 --> 00:20:04.300 my sister K, who in our family, she does all the hard work. 00:20:04.300 --> 00:20:06.640 She's the oldest, she'll tell you she does all the hard work. 00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:11.050 It was at this point that Verity and K rolled up their sleeves and did 00:20:11.050 --> 00:20:15.400 what their dad had taught them to do, use the power of their minds. 00:20:15.430 --> 00:20:19.330 This time they turned to the six Thinking Hats by Edward de Bono 00:20:19.330 --> 00:20:22.540 as a problem solving framework to raise money. 00:20:22.570 --> 00:20:27.010 We did 30 minutes of using this amazing framework for thinking, and I 00:20:27.010 --> 00:20:30.370 came up with an idea to ask people to buy an album I hadn't recorded. 00:20:31.240 --> 00:20:34.240 Now everyone will go, oh, that's crowdfunding now. 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:37.150 And I'm like, yes, but in 2005 that was called crazy. 00:20:37.300 --> 00:20:42.250 Like no one had done that before. But the obstacle and finally 00:20:42.250 --> 00:20:47.080 realizing I couldn't stay stuck, pushed me to shift poster to find a 00:20:47.080 --> 00:20:52.150 way to solve that problem and to take action on a crazy idea and really 00:20:52.150 --> 00:20:57.220 take a chance with possibly failing. But I was so excited to see if I 00:20:57.220 --> 00:20:59.500 could get people to buy something that didn't exist. 00:20:59.500 --> 00:21:04.780 But we sold 2000 copies of nothing in 25 countries. We gave 10% to charity. 00:21:04.810 --> 00:21:09.490 We released it in 2007 and I didn't become famous for music. 00:21:10.060 --> 00:21:12.400 Everyone was like, come speak to us about innovation. 00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:15.100 I was like, that's not the plan. I'm trying to be a pop star. 00:21:15.220 --> 00:21:19.630 So with all the positive thinking, the manifestation using the power of 00:21:19.630 --> 00:21:24.120 her mind, you might be wondering, did Verity make it as a pop star. 00:21:24.810 --> 00:21:28.650 So I was very disappointed the music career didn't take off, 00:21:28.650 --> 00:21:32.550 but I really started to grapple with depression, with anxiety. 00:21:32.850 --> 00:21:35.670 And for anyone who knows the Enneagram personality thing, 00:21:35.670 --> 00:21:38.040 I'm a for. And for those that don't know 00:21:38.040 --> 00:21:42.060 that Enneagram personality thing, a four is an individualist. 00:21:42.060 --> 00:21:45.630 They're a self-aware, sensitive, emotionally honest, 00:21:45.630 --> 00:21:50.820 creative people, but they can also be moody and self-conscious. 00:21:51.030 --> 00:21:55.380 So shame is my is my friend often in the back seat and sometimes in the 00:21:55.380 --> 00:21:59.670 driver's seat if I'm not careful. So I really struggled with my life. 00:21:59.670 --> 00:22:01.290 Doesn't look the way it's supposed to look. 00:22:01.290 --> 00:22:05.340 And it was my ego's idea of you meant to be famous. 00:22:05.340 --> 00:22:09.000 The world is meant to love you and choose you and say yes to you, 00:22:09.000 --> 00:22:12.660 and then you'll be happy. And my soul was going, no, 00:22:12.660 --> 00:22:15.960 actually, this was showing you how to do things differently. 00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:19.740 And now you have the opportunity to help other people solve their 00:22:19.740 --> 00:22:24.630 problems, because I had to have the grace to let go of the ego's 00:22:24.630 --> 00:22:29.370 dream and step onto the soul path. And then my life became so much 00:22:29.370 --> 00:22:31.650 easier. The biggest lesson I learned from 00:22:31.650 --> 00:22:35.280 that was that your ego often has one idea of what your life should look 00:22:35.280 --> 00:22:41.940 like, and your soul has another. The journey to her soul path was 00:22:41.940 --> 00:22:45.450 also a steep climb. But by now you know that Verity 00:22:45.450 --> 00:22:50.250 doesn't choose the easy route. She doesn't do the 21km when she 00:22:50.250 --> 00:22:56.340 can go 800km. Verity Soul path led her to the World 00:22:56.340 --> 00:23:01.440 Championships of public speaking, and this would be her stage. 00:23:02.370 --> 00:23:07.800 I had entered in 2012, not understanding the scope and 00:23:07.800 --> 00:23:12.060 of how huge this contest was, with 35,000 contestants from 150 00:23:12.060 --> 00:23:16.560 countries. I competed again in 2015. I got as far as the Western Cape 00:23:16.560 --> 00:23:20.810 level where I came third, and then at that point I put a lid on it and 00:23:20.810 --> 00:23:24.170 thoughts, but of a fixed mindset. And then something shifted for 00:23:24.170 --> 00:23:28.580 me in 2020. And the man who became the 2020 00:23:28.580 --> 00:23:33.680 world champion, Mike Carr. His speech was about innovation 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:37.040 and his message was the victory is not in the result. 00:23:37.040 --> 00:23:41.390 The victory is in the try. And I think we all like when you hear 00:23:41.390 --> 00:23:43.910 a message when you're ready for it. And I was like, I'm not even 00:23:43.910 --> 00:23:49.130 trying with this contest. And a week later I had to do a 00:23:49.130 --> 00:23:53.060 little speech at my club, and I shared a story about my mum 00:23:53.060 --> 00:23:56.150 growing up would always say to me, Verity, we need to leave the 00:23:56.150 --> 00:23:59.930 world better than we find it. And I would get again as a 00:23:59.930 --> 00:24:03.740 tempestuous 16 year old. Oh, come. On, mama, what do you know? 00:24:04.130 --> 00:24:06.320 And I wrote a speech about how actually, 00:24:06.320 --> 00:24:09.980 that is how I've lived my life. She. She'd succeeded in drilling it 00:24:09.980 --> 00:24:11.720 into me. I suddenly thought, 00:24:11.720 --> 00:24:13.880 that's a contest speech. That's a speech that could do 00:24:13.880 --> 00:24:18.170 well in a contest. And like, seconds after thinking 00:24:18.170 --> 00:24:21.800 that, a voice inside me said, you're going to be the next world champion. 00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:24.560 And I got goosebumps because I was like, no, come on. 00:24:24.560 --> 00:24:27.380 Like 35,000 people. No one from Africa has ever won that. 00:24:27.380 --> 00:24:31.820 That's ridiculous. And so Verity set out to become 00:24:31.820 --> 00:24:35.930 the world public speaking champion in 2021. 00:24:36.230 --> 00:24:40.580 And so I started working three months before the first contest 00:24:40.580 --> 00:24:45.380 with this single minded focus to bring the trophy back to Africa. 00:24:45.560 --> 00:24:48.830 So it is the hardest I've ever worked on anything in my life. 00:24:48.830 --> 00:24:52.670 We're talking 3 to 4 hours a day writing speeches, delivering them 00:24:52.670 --> 00:24:55.970 at online clubs, getting feedback, paying for coaching. 00:24:55.970 --> 00:25:00.620 Varieties, life experiences and the immense amount of effort was 00:25:00.620 --> 00:25:03.290 starting to pay off. By the time I won the Southern 00:25:03.290 --> 00:25:06.050 African level, I had 12 countries going. 00:25:06.050 --> 00:25:08.480 We think this is going to be the first time someone brings this 00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:12.230 home to Africa. No pressure. I was like, come on, 00:25:12.230 --> 00:25:14.660 this is ridiculous. 80 years and no one's won it from 00:25:14.660 --> 00:25:18.070 this continent and only five women. That has to change. 00:25:18.190 --> 00:25:21.730 With each new opportunity to deliver the same speech. 00:25:21.760 --> 00:25:26.620 Verde's confidence continued to grow. And now she found herself in the 00:25:26.620 --> 00:25:30.460 semi-finals of the World Public Speaking Championships. 00:25:31.330 --> 00:25:34.150 Eight speakers in the world. I was the only woman left standing 00:25:34.150 --> 00:25:38.860 and the only speaker from Africa. It's my speech about my mum got me 00:25:38.860 --> 00:25:45.010 into the finals. For the final round. Speakers are asked to deliver a 00:25:45.010 --> 00:25:48.850 brand new speech, something that nobody has heard before. 00:25:49.090 --> 00:25:53.500 Verity had the chance to tell a very special story. 00:25:54.340 --> 00:25:58.450 And I had a second speech ready that I'd been working on for 100 days 00:25:58.480 --> 00:26:03.370 about my dad and about that last letter he wrote to me before he died. 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:08.890 And I gave it everything, and it was life changing to hear 00:26:08.890 --> 00:26:12.070 the news that I'd actually won. These speeches were such testaments 00:26:12.070 --> 00:26:16.990 to my parents that I cried so much while rehearsing them and hoping they 00:26:16.990 --> 00:26:20.260 could hear how much I love them. And my speech that I won with 00:26:20.260 --> 00:26:22.750 was literally saying, your life is a book. 00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:25.780 If you're not enjoying the read. Pick up your pen and write a 00:26:25.780 --> 00:26:29.650 different story. So it was about being the author 00:26:29.650 --> 00:26:33.640 of your life. And so, even though Verity might 00:26:33.640 --> 00:26:36.970 have regretted her teenage feelings towards her dad, 00:26:37.270 --> 00:26:42.400 she made sure to tell him how cool he was in many ways, since. 00:26:43.030 --> 00:26:48.880 He did a lot to process that in the years after he after he passed, 00:26:49.120 --> 00:26:56.290 I wrote it as a song and it was the what I wanted my dad to know 00:26:56.290 --> 00:26:59.680 was how much he taught me. And thank you for teaching me to 00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:03.190 live life with nature's tools. You know, speak other people's 00:27:03.190 --> 00:27:06.640 tongues, don't stick to stupid rules. Do as you would have done. 00:27:07.060 --> 00:27:09.790 But it really was. He taught me how to live lightly 00:27:09.790 --> 00:27:13.300 on the world, how to live, but also live lightly with humour 00:27:13.300 --> 00:27:17.550 Humor and connection to others and to have a reverence for nature. 00:27:17.820 --> 00:27:21.450 And I told him that, you know, he just could squeeze my hand 00:27:21.450 --> 00:27:24.840 and look at me. It's easy to think you've got time. 00:27:24.840 --> 00:27:28.380 So I think he had an inkling. But wherever he's looking down 00:27:28.380 --> 00:27:30.780 from now, I think he's got a very good idea. 00:27:33.750 --> 00:27:37.500 Verity Pryce works in the competitive industry of public 00:27:37.500 --> 00:27:41.610 speaking and facilitation, helping others write their own stories. 00:27:42.210 --> 00:27:45.090 She lives in Claremont with her husband and little boy. 00:27:45.600 --> 00:27:48.210 And you can listen to this song she wrote for her dad, 00:27:48.210 --> 00:27:56.790 Forever in Me on Spotify. Thank you for listening to this 00:27:56.790 --> 00:27:59.940 episode of Something Shifted. We make this show as a labor of love, 00:27:59.940 --> 00:28:03.210 and because we believe stories about possibility, it's just 00:28:03.210 --> 00:28:05.400 what the world needs to hear. We'd really love it if you would 00:28:05.400 --> 00:28:08.700 share this episode and be part of that shift for someone else, too. 00:28:08.700 --> 00:28:12.540 And if you really like the show, go ahead and leave it a five star 00:28:12.540 --> 00:28:17.070 review and follow something shifted on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. 00:28:17.430 --> 00:28:20.430 You can also leave a comment if you're using Spotify mobile. 00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:23.490 I read them all and respond there too. 00:28:23.730 --> 00:28:27.330 Don't forget to use my code shift 50 at checkout when you 00:28:27.330 --> 00:28:32.190 place your very first order on Yukos and you'll get 50% off. 00:28:32.400 --> 00:28:36.510 You can join my mailing list 321 shift and start the week off right 00:28:36.510 --> 00:28:39.450 with three things for your mind. Two things for your body and one 00:28:39.450 --> 00:28:41.940 thing for your soul. Every second Sunday. 00:28:41.940 --> 00:28:45.630 Plus, you'll automatically go into the draw for giveaways and have first 00:28:45.630 --> 00:28:49.200 dibs on tickets to live events. To all of the links to all of 00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:51.420 the things that I've mentioned are in the show notes. 00:28:51.750 --> 00:28:55.560 Big thanks, as always to my executive producer for additional writing, 00:28:55.560 --> 00:28:59.700 Rhonda, and of course to you for believing in possibility. 00:29:00.090 --> 00:29:06.240 My name is Shawn and this is something shifted by.