Hey, how are you? And if you say you're fine, I'm gonna
assume you mean, like, the acronym. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic,
and emotional. So,
have you heard the term life quake? Well, in this podcast,
we talk about life quakes, those unpredictable seismic shifts that,
in time, lead to profound personal growth and empowerment.
Here you can expect heartfelt stories that reveal both the joy and the
discomfort of unexpected change. And I think you're gonna like it
here. My name is Shawn,
and this is something shifted.
Today's story belongs to Verity. Your life is a book.
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There's a saying that you regret more the things you didn't do
than the things you actually did. Sometimes we use the saying to
justify big, bold moves like splurging on a luxury item or to
excuse some outlandish behavior. But in reality, the things you didn't
do, the what ifs, the could have, would have, should haves.
The if onlys can haunt you for a long time.
The biggest regrets I have is a 23. You don't really tell your
parents how awesome they are. How many of us can honestly say
that we were showing our parents gratitude in our younger years?
And why would we? For most of us in our teens and
20s especially, were finding ourselves in this great big world
and life is full of possibilities. We live fast and hard,
with little capacity to appreciate what and who we have.
My dad was he was a character. He was 48 when I was born, so he was
a much older dad back in the 70s. That was like really geriatric.
So I had this older dad. He was tall, he was skinny,
he was bald. He would when you'd pick me up,
people thought he was my grandfather. So as a teenager I was always like,
oh, it's so uncool. But now, looking back very.
He can see clearly how cool her dad actually was.
So he was reading any book around the power of the mind, you know,
Think and Grow Rich or How to Win Friends and Influence people.
And then the poor man were trying to share it with his opinionated
teenage daughter and, you know. So come on, dad, like, really?
What do you know? So he actually took to writing
me letters and he would leave them at the top of the stairwell
in our house. You know, if I'd been in a
particularly bad mood or a real brat, and he'd be like, it's very hard
living with a 16 year old, and I can see you going through a lot.
And then he'd give me all this advice going,
maybe this will make sense later. And he just did that relentlessly.
At the time, Verity didn't realise the value of these letters.
I mean, she was just 16, but her dad stuck with it,
kept writing her letters, knowing in his hard earned wisdom that these
things will be important in time. I mean, I speak about my dad a lot.
The man's had world acclaim in speeches I've done because he
really was such an inspiration. Verity was 24 and pursuing a
music career as a songwriter in London when her dad became ill.
My sister and and my mom didn't want to tell me that my dad was so sick.
He they thought he had flu, so they were downplaying it to me.
But something in me just was like. And I was about to go to Scotland
with friends and my dad said, go have fun. That'll be amazing.
And then I thought, you know what? I'm going to surprise them.
But with just a few days before Verity was supposed to fly out
and surprise her family back in South Africa, she had this
overwhelming sense of dread. Three days before I was meant to
leave, I had this bizarre feeling and I kept phoning my mum to check
on my dad and I'd phoned him on the way to hospital, you know,
and and said, dad, are you okay? I'm worried about you.
And and my dad, with this quirky sense of humour,
had said, don't worry. You know, I love breakfast in bed.
He just was an absolute card. But despite her dad's attempts at
making her feel more comfortable and that things were going to be okay,
Verity still had this uneasy feeling. And eventually I got hold of my mom
and she was sobbing and I was like, what's happened?
And she said he had a stroke in the ambulance being transferred.
I managed to get off the phone and get on a flight in December from
London to Cape Town that night. Change my ticket was unbelievable.
Friends dropped everything. Some of them ran out of their jobs
just to get me to the airport, and that was the longest 13 hour
flight of my life. Verity spent those 13 hours
strapped into a seat thousands of meters up in the air.
She was making her way home without knowing what reality would be waiting
for her when she lands, not knowing if her dad would be able to greet her
when she touched down in Cape Town. And I was shaken to my to my core.
And we had a week with him and it was really rough because he
was paralysed. So this very verbal father that
I'd had could just look at me with his eyes, and he was totally
paralysed from the stroke. He couldn't speak,
he couldn't swallow. And yeah, it was deeply,
deeply traumatic. Watching that and having to
realize that he was never going to see me do anything with my life.
You wouldn't walk me down the aisle. He wouldn't meet my children.
He had a living will. He was someone. If it's my time, it's my time.
But yeah, it was. It was really hard. And that living will, we had to
override it because it had stipulated that there would be no tube feeding.
But I think when you sign something like that,
you think you're unconscious. At that point, he was fully awake
and aware, and we didn't know if he was going to survive or not.
And we realized it wasn't for us to choose that.
It's not if he you could see he was hungry. It was. Yeah.
It was a really, really hard week. Veritas dad had contracted a
staphylococcus infection in his heart, which caused those flu like
symptoms when he initially fell ill. That infection went on to cause
a stroke. And because of the stroke,
the doctors were not able to operate on his heart.
And after what was a really, really hard week, there, it his
father passed away. It threw me. I went from being a very upbeat,
bubbly girl to someone who struggled with small talk at, you know,
because everyone was still partying and was still going to bars and
clubs, and I actually couldn't do it anymore because I'd really
seen the the reality of life that we lose the ones we love.
There it is, the baby in the family. She was in her mid-twenties when her
dad passed away, while her siblings were in their late 30s and had grown
up lives that they needed to return to to make sense of this loss in
their own way. So when they left. Verity stayed and I was with my mom.
I mean, I actually the minute I got home,
I got into her bed and I slept in her bed with her for months because I
couldn't handle the pain of seeing her having lost her life partner.
So I think I took that on because, you know,
my sister and brother had left, and so I was the one who stayed at home.
Verity sense of loss carried over into her work.
I think I processed it through my music.
I wrote a song about him forever and me, and it was really just
celebrating the lessons he taught me and how he'd guided me.
At the time of her dad's passing, Verity was a songwriter, and what she
really wanted was to be a singer. But fear had held her back and
her dad knew this. The last letter he ever wrote me.
I was living in London, too afraid to start singing,
feeling sorry for myself. And he took the time to write me a
four page letter about how all the people in our family my brother,
my sister, other examples had turned their lives
around and that I had that choice. Verdi's dad had always believed
in the power of the mind, and this was a way of being that was
modeled to her from a very young age. We were a very cerebral family,
so it was always these big dinners around our dining room table and
talking about the power of the mind. Both my parents were into it,
my brother and sister were into it. So from a young age I was watching
the people I loved and admired play with manifestation, play with.
They were doing affirmations. I mean, this is coming out of
the 70s and 80s. They had all those tapes that
people used to listen to. So I was brought up with that.
And so while his death shook her to her core verities, dad had given
her 24 years worth of lessons and countless number of letters about
believing in the power of dreams. And I didn't know what to do.
But I also knew that I could not live a life rooted in fear, and I
couldn't live a life where I was putting my dreams off till tomorrow,
because my dad's death had shown me that tomorrow is not guaranteed.
And so I did at that point make a very strange decision a few
months after he died. And that decision was to run the
Knysna Half Marathon with a friend. I don't run, I'm not very fit.
But I said yes because it would give me something to do.
Grief can make you do strange things. Although Verity said yes to
doing a half marathon, the thought of actually training
for it was exhausting. And she did what many of us do.
She started listing all the excuses why she wouldn't, couldn't,
shouldn't do the half marathon. But then she remembered a book by
Paulo Coelho called The Pilgrimage. And that's when Verity decided that
she needed her own pilgrimage. So rather than run the Knysna Half
Marathon, she decided to walk the Camino de Santiago across Spain.
And so, in my mind, I thought it was easier to walk
800 k's than it was to run 21. And I made a decision in a day.
I signed up to go and start walking on the six month anniversary of
my dad's death, and what would have been his 72nd birthday.
And that was the hardest thing I'd ever done.
I did it on my own, but I did it in his memory,
and I did it to show myself that I could finish something I could start
and I could finish something hard. And I called it a journey for the
soul and the souls, because my word, my feet were a mess at the end.
But when I got to Santiago and I could look at a country and go,
wow, I've walked across that. I can walk onto a stage,
I can take a chance, I can try. And I came home and that's when
I recorded a demo.
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So Verity walked the Camino de Santiago, and she returned with a
new vision for her music career to record her demo and finally
conquer her stage fright. Now, Verity had dabbled with
visualization and tapping into the power of your mind, manifesting
your dreams when she was younger. It's actually how she came to be
in London as a songwriter in the first place, and one of the
clearest examples of tapping into the power of her mind for Verity
happened four years earlier. When she was 20, she attended a
workshop with her sister and heard the story about someone who'd
written a letter to the future as if something had already happened.
I was struggling to work out how to get into the music industry
because I was writing lyrics, but I was struggling with the music.
My music was a bit. It was sweet, but it wasn't great.
And I was like, oh, I just need to find someone who is great with music,
struggles with lyrics, has a record deal so I can get
my words out into the world. And so K, my sister said, well,
why don't you write a letter? So I was like, okay, why not?
And I went home and I still remember I dated at the 20th of November
and it would have been 1995. And I said, dear perfect music
Writing partner, I'm so excited I met you tonight at LA made unbelievable
that you have a record deal. I put it all in there and said,
like, I can't wait to make music with you. Love, Verity.
And I put it in my drawer and I got on with exams at university.
And when the 20th of November came, I was actually far away from Cape Town.
And I remember going, oh, I was meant to be at Le Made
like that didn't happen. I got back a week later and one
of the friends I'd been there with like phoned up and said, oh,
let's, why don't we go to Lamda? It was 1995, and the vibe that night
at Le Made just wasn't giving. So Verity and her friend decided
to leave. But as they got up to walk out
the door. A guy came running after us and said,
are you girls going? Don't you want to come have a
drink with me and my friend? And we were like, oh my word,
not this. And then something in me went,
just say yes. So we said okay and we went over
and he had this quiet little guy sitting next to them and he said,
this is Tom. And we're like, hi, Tom,
nice to meet you. And he says, Tom is the lead
singer of Black Diamond. And I was like, what?
And we chatted and I said, you know. And he said, no, I write the music.
I really struggle with lyrics. Just like Verity had written in
her letter two months earlier. I don't think I've ever told
this story before, and I was like, no ways.
And I was in the BMG studio as a week later I wrote lyrics for
two songs for them and one of them was called southbound.
That band became Semi Sane. Tom left and it was the lead song for
Big Brother when it first came out. My jaw dropped when I first heard
this story, and variety goes on to say that she learned a very valuable
lesson through this exercise in 1995, and that is to be very specific
about the details. Now, the only thing I didn't
stipulate in my letter was that I got writing credits or royalties,
but I got exactly what I'd asked for, and I think because I'd done it
in such a playful way, not really thinking it would work,
there was just no resistance in the way of that manifesting,
but it was freaky. And that's the kind of stuff that,
like, my family had encouraged and we played with.
And, you know, I've tried it many times with the lottery.
It's never worked, but there's been a few times where
that's the influence and that's the magic they've helped me create.
So with the visualization and the positivity that her parents
instilled in her, together with the experiences of the universe
responding to her dreams and the confidence she slowly forged on that
800 kilometer walk across Spain, Verity knew she wanted to get
over her stage fright. They might move to America.
Had followed a man to America, as we say, great life choice.
But it got me there and I was having to tell people I was a singer and
I was trying to get things going. So the person who helped me get
over my stage fright was a singing coach in America called Joe,
and he was this African American man, retired Motown singer, looked like
James Brown, absolute Character, and I went to Joe for lessons because
I still was incredibly nervous. I lacked confidence,
and he was like, Verity, I'm not going to teach you how to sing.
I'm going to teach you how to be confident.
I was like, okay, well, good luck. Let's see how you do that.
And Joe's way of teaching confidence was to make anything
that could go wrong go wrong. He would interrupt me.
He would turn up the music, turn down the music,
knock over the mic, shout at me. And every time I would lose my place,
he'd be Verity. When things go wrong, just keep on.
And at the end of my three months with him, I wasn't sure if the
lessons were working, but I was clear my relationship wasn't working.
So I came home and something had worked because I had the courage
to get on stage. And Joe was right. She'd done it.
Verity had overcome her stage fright and had slowly started building
her music career by gigging around Cape Town, and in order to take her
career to the next level, Verity knew she needed to record an album,
but she didn't have the 300,000 odd rand to make that happen.
And I got stuck at that point where I think a lot of people get
stuck going. There's my dream. Here's an obstacle.
Life's not fair, people. Why me? And I was that person,
and my dad would not have been proud. Like I got into a proper victim state
and I stayed there for two years. And then eventually I was like,
I either have to give up or have to get creative.
Something needs to shift. And that was when I sat down with
my sister K, who in our family, she does all the hard work.
She's the oldest, she'll tell you she does all the hard work.
It was at this point that Verity and K rolled up their sleeves and did
what their dad had taught them to do, use the power of their minds.
This time they turned to the six Thinking Hats by Edward de Bono
as a problem solving framework to raise money.
We did 30 minutes of using this amazing framework for thinking, and I
came up with an idea to ask people to buy an album I hadn't recorded.
Now everyone will go, oh, that's crowdfunding now.
And I'm like, yes, but in 2005 that was called crazy.
Like no one had done that before. But the obstacle and finally
realizing I couldn't stay stuck, pushed me to shift poster to find a
way to solve that problem and to take action on a crazy idea and really
take a chance with possibly failing. But I was so excited to see if I
could get people to buy something that didn't exist.
But we sold 2000 copies of nothing in 25 countries. We gave 10% to charity.
We released it in 2007 and I didn't become famous for music.
Everyone was like, come speak to us about innovation.
I was like, that's not the plan. I'm trying to be a pop star.
So with all the positive thinking, the manifestation using the power of
her mind, you might be wondering, did Verity make it as a pop star.
So I was very disappointed the music career didn't take off,
but I really started to grapple with depression, with anxiety.
And for anyone who knows the Enneagram personality thing,
I'm a for. And for those that don't know
that Enneagram personality thing, a four is an individualist.
They're a self-aware, sensitive, emotionally honest,
creative people, but they can also be moody and self-conscious.
So shame is my is my friend often in the back seat and sometimes in the
driver's seat if I'm not careful. So I really struggled with my life.
Doesn't look the way it's supposed to look.
And it was my ego's idea of you meant to be famous.
The world is meant to love you and choose you and say yes to you,
and then you'll be happy. And my soul was going, no,
actually, this was showing you how to do things differently.
And now you have the opportunity to help other people solve their
problems, because I had to have the grace to let go of the ego's
dream and step onto the soul path. And then my life became so much
easier. The biggest lesson I learned from
that was that your ego often has one idea of what your life should look
like, and your soul has another. The journey to her soul path was
also a steep climb. But by now you know that Verity
doesn't choose the easy route. She doesn't do the 21km when she
can go 800km. Verity Soul path led her to the World
Championships of public speaking, and this would be her stage.
I had entered in 2012, not understanding the scope and
of how huge this contest was, with 35,000 contestants from 150
countries. I competed again in 2015. I got as far as the Western Cape
level where I came third, and then at that point I put a lid on it and
thoughts, but of a fixed mindset. And then something shifted for
me in 2020. And the man who became the 2020
world champion, Mike Carr. His speech was about innovation
and his message was the victory is not in the result.
The victory is in the try. And I think we all like when you hear
a message when you're ready for it. And I was like, I'm not even
trying with this contest. And a week later I had to do a
little speech at my club, and I shared a story about my mum
growing up would always say to me, Verity, we need to leave the
world better than we find it. And I would get again as a
tempestuous 16 year old. Oh, come. On, mama, what do you know?
And I wrote a speech about how actually,
that is how I've lived my life. She. She'd succeeded in drilling it
into me. I suddenly thought,
that's a contest speech. That's a speech that could do
well in a contest. And like, seconds after thinking
that, a voice inside me said, you're going to be the next world champion.
And I got goosebumps because I was like, no, come on.
Like 35,000 people. No one from Africa has ever won that.
That's ridiculous. And so Verity set out to become
the world public speaking champion in 2021.
And so I started working three months before the first contest
with this single minded focus to bring the trophy back to Africa.
So it is the hardest I've ever worked on anything in my life.
We're talking 3 to 4 hours a day writing speeches, delivering them
at online clubs, getting feedback, paying for coaching.
Varieties, life experiences and the immense amount of effort was
starting to pay off. By the time I won the Southern
African level, I had 12 countries going.
We think this is going to be the first time someone brings this
home to Africa. No pressure. I was like, come on,
this is ridiculous. 80 years and no one's won it from
this continent and only five women. That has to change.
With each new opportunity to deliver the same speech.
Verde's confidence continued to grow. And now she found herself in the
semi-finals of the World Public Speaking Championships.
Eight speakers in the world. I was the only woman left standing
and the only speaker from Africa. It's my speech about my mum got me
into the finals. For the final round. Speakers are asked to deliver a
brand new speech, something that nobody has heard before.
Verity had the chance to tell a very special story.
And I had a second speech ready that I'd been working on for 100 days
about my dad and about that last letter he wrote to me before he died.
And I gave it everything, and it was life changing to hear
the news that I'd actually won. These speeches were such testaments
to my parents that I cried so much while rehearsing them and hoping they
could hear how much I love them. And my speech that I won with
was literally saying, your life is a book.
If you're not enjoying the read. Pick up your pen and write a
different story. So it was about being the author
of your life. And so, even though Verity might
have regretted her teenage feelings towards her dad,
she made sure to tell him how cool he was in many ways, since.
He did a lot to process that in the years after he after he passed,
I wrote it as a song and it was the what I wanted my dad to know
was how much he taught me. And thank you for teaching me to
live life with nature's tools. You know, speak other people's
tongues, don't stick to stupid rules. Do as you would have done.
But it really was. He taught me how to live lightly
on the world, how to live, but also live lightly with humour
Humor and connection to others and to have a reverence for nature.
And I told him that, you know, he just could squeeze my hand
and look at me. It's easy to think you've got time.
So I think he had an inkling. But wherever he's looking down
from now, I think he's got a very good idea.
Verity Pryce works in the competitive industry of public
speaking and facilitation, helping others write their own stories.
She lives in Claremont with her husband and little boy.
And you can listen to this song she wrote for her dad,
Forever in Me on Spotify. Thank you for listening to this
episode of Something Shifted. We make this show as a labor of love,
and because we believe stories about possibility, it's just
what the world needs to hear. We'd really love it if you would
share this episode and be part of that shift for someone else, too.
And if you really like the show, go ahead and leave it a five star
review and follow something shifted on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify.
You can also leave a comment if you're using Spotify mobile.
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Don't forget to use my code shift 50 at checkout when you
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You can join my mailing list 321 shift and start the week off right
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Plus, you'll automatically go into the draw for giveaways and have first
dibs on tickets to live events. To all of the links to all of
the things that I've mentioned are in the show notes.
Big thanks, as always to my executive producer for additional writing,
Rhonda, and of course to you for believing in possibility.
My name is Shawn and this is something shifted by.