WEBVTT - This file has cues. 00:00:00.060 --> 00:00:03.960 Hey, how are you? I mean, is there anything worse 00:00:03.960 --> 00:00:08.220 than being asked how you are and having to pretend that you're fine? 00:00:08.910 --> 00:00:14.550 Well, you don't have to pretend here. Have you heard of the term life 00:00:14.550 --> 00:00:16.920 quake? In this podcast, 00:00:16.920 --> 00:00:19.860 we talk about life quakes, those unpredictable seismic shifts 00:00:19.860 --> 00:00:25.230 that in time can lead to profound personal growth and empowerment. 00:00:26.070 --> 00:00:30.090 Throughout this season, you can expect heartfelt conversations 00:00:30.090 --> 00:00:35.910 that reveal both the joy and the discomfort of unexpected change. 00:00:35.910 --> 00:00:37.740 And I think you're going to like it here. 00:00:37.980 --> 00:00:43.110 My name is Sean, and this is something shifted. 00:00:44.910 --> 00:00:49.440 Today's story belongs to Liesel. The opportunity we got on the other 00:00:49.440 --> 00:00:54.210 side of the world was to give up everything here in South Africa 00:00:54.210 --> 00:00:58.440 and move to Sweden. That's next. 00:01:04.970 --> 00:01:09.380 I lead a demanding lifestyle and I'm very guilty of wanting more for less. 00:01:09.410 --> 00:01:12.710 Especially when it comes to food. I want to feel like I'm eating 00:01:12.710 --> 00:01:15.350 restaurant food, but I don't want to leave my house. 00:01:15.380 --> 00:01:18.530 I want to try new flavors, but I also don't want to spend 00:01:18.530 --> 00:01:20.960 money on ingredients that I might never use again. 00:01:20.960 --> 00:01:25.130 And let's be honest, I don't want to eat the same thing over and over, 00:01:25.130 --> 00:01:27.710 but I really don't have time to think about what we're going to 00:01:27.710 --> 00:01:30.140 eat for dinner every night. You know what I mean? 00:01:30.410 --> 00:01:32.720 Well, you cook changed all of that for us. 00:01:32.750 --> 00:01:35.570 We choose what we want to eat. And you cook delivers all of the 00:01:35.570 --> 00:01:38.540 ingredients, perfectly portioned right to my door. 00:01:38.540 --> 00:01:41.120 No more standing in queues to weigh my fresh produce. 00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:44.990 No more impulse buys sneaking their way into my trolley. 00:01:45.020 --> 00:01:49.010 You cook is always adding new recipes to choose from, and I've even 00:01:49.010 --> 00:01:52.520 picked up some new skills thanks to those easy to follow recipe cards. 00:01:52.820 --> 00:01:56.030 You cook has been an absolute game changer for us because 00:01:56.030 --> 00:02:00.010 everything is just so simple. I love the convenience. 00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:03.760 I love the variety and the flexibility to go carb conscious 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:06.430 meals for one week. And then when Rose folks come to 00:02:06.430 --> 00:02:09.460 stay, we might switch to fan favorites or combine the two. 00:02:09.640 --> 00:02:12.220 Everything on the website looks amazing. 00:02:12.220 --> 00:02:15.250 Meal kits, frozen crofts, desserts, weekend boxes, 00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:18.910 lunchboxes, pizza, wine. They've got it all and you can 00:02:18.910 --> 00:02:23.620 have it all to go to your cookout and use my code hash. 00:02:23.650 --> 00:02:28.240 Shift 50 and get a whopping 50% off your first order. 00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:32.650 That's right shifters. Go get it. That's Uk'otoa. 00:02:32.650 --> 00:02:37.870 And use the code hash shift 50 at checkout, exclusive to 00:02:37.870 --> 00:02:41.650 something shifted listeners, and get 50% off your first order. 00:02:48.550 --> 00:02:51.820 If you're a longtime listener to something shifted, welcome back. 00:02:52.090 --> 00:02:53.920 And if it's the first time you're here. 00:02:53.950 --> 00:02:57.880 This is episode six of our third season, and so far we've heard 00:02:57.880 --> 00:03:01.140 about unexpected events that significantly shifted the course 00:03:01.140 --> 00:03:04.710 of people's lives, like the heart wrenching loss of a father. 00:03:04.950 --> 00:03:10.200 Or receiving difficult news that you need a second organ transplant. 00:03:10.680 --> 00:03:14.820 The type of life quake that lands like a gut punch you just 00:03:14.820 --> 00:03:18.900 weren't ready for and leaves you breathless and vulnerable. 00:03:21.750 --> 00:03:25.320 Somewhere in that chaos and uncertainty. 00:03:25.350 --> 00:03:28.140 There's a surprising sense of freedom. 00:03:28.230 --> 00:03:31.980 Standing at the crossroad you didn't choose for yourself, 00:03:32.310 --> 00:03:37.440 you have a chance to make the best of a situation that was thrust upon you. 00:03:38.880 --> 00:03:44.010 And then there are seismic shifts that we create for ourselves. 00:03:44.370 --> 00:03:51.270 I would say the live quake that changed me most recently wasn't 00:03:51.270 --> 00:03:54.060 actually something that happened to me, something that was out of 00:03:54.300 --> 00:04:00.800 my control or something that we chose and that that life quake 00:04:00.800 --> 00:04:04.760 came in the form of opportunity. And then you have to choose 00:04:04.760 --> 00:04:08.930 whether to take it or not. But it's it was our choice. 00:04:09.320 --> 00:04:13.910 In the adventures we seek out for ourselves or the chances that we 00:04:13.910 --> 00:04:18.680 say yes to, we know that things will change, but we never really 00:04:18.680 --> 00:04:23.750 know how much they will change. An enthusiastic yes today will 00:04:23.750 --> 00:04:29.210 obviously start a domino effect, but where will the yes ultimately lead? 00:04:29.720 --> 00:04:34.040 You cannot know all of the ramifications of your choices, 00:04:34.040 --> 00:04:37.910 and there were definitely a few moments where I was like, why did 00:04:37.910 --> 00:04:44.000 I choose this? This is too hard. Can't do it. I want to go home. 00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:51.920 For Liesel and her husband, Anton. Home was Cape Town, South Africa. 00:04:52.250 --> 00:04:56.810 I grew up in Cape Town. Anton grew up in Pretoria, but we 00:04:56.810 --> 00:05:02.320 had both been living in Cape Town for 15 years or so before we left. 00:05:02.350 --> 00:05:06.160 Yeah, so there was a lot of infrastructure here. 00:05:06.700 --> 00:05:10.780 And part of that infrastructure was their beautiful blue Victorian row 00:05:10.780 --> 00:05:15.280 house in Woodstock that they had renovated and truly made their own. 00:05:15.670 --> 00:05:19.090 This was the first house their son Noah would call home. 00:05:20.230 --> 00:05:22.900 Now, there are three things that you need to know about the 00:05:22.900 --> 00:05:27.670 chambers to appreciate the gravity of their move to Sweden. 00:05:28.630 --> 00:05:33.580 Firstly, the jobs loved living in Woodstock. 00:05:34.270 --> 00:05:39.310 It's your hometown, so you know it. You know what? Every back street. 00:05:39.310 --> 00:05:41.620 You know where you like to eat. You know and you like to drink 00:05:41.620 --> 00:05:43.420 coffee. You know where to get everything. 00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:49.240 It was just like, now I realize it was a wealth of 00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:52.960 knowledge that I just carried in my in my head all the time. 00:05:53.440 --> 00:05:56.830 Now, the second thing you need to know is that in 2021, 00:05:56.830 --> 00:06:01.650 both Liesel and Anton had very successful careers in the science 00:06:01.650 --> 00:06:05.880 and tech industries respectively. Liesel had climbed the ranks 00:06:05.880 --> 00:06:09.330 while working at the same company for more than a decade. 00:06:09.750 --> 00:06:12.210 And when you have that kind of experience where you're seeing 00:06:12.210 --> 00:06:14.430 the same people every day, they become your people. 00:06:14.430 --> 00:06:16.350 They become your friends. There's the people that you 00:06:16.350 --> 00:06:19.680 spend the most time with. I didn't realize how much I 00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:24.090 would miss and mourn that family when I'd left that job. 00:06:24.450 --> 00:06:27.210 To me, a job was never a job. It's you. 00:06:27.210 --> 00:06:30.000 It's it's what you're doing with your time. 00:06:30.570 --> 00:06:33.750 And what you're doing with your time is the most precious thing you have, 00:06:33.750 --> 00:06:39.450 actually. So job is important. And both of us had to give ours up. 00:06:40.260 --> 00:06:43.680 But giving up a job wasn't the only important thing. 00:06:43.710 --> 00:06:46.200 You see, the opportunity to relocate abroad 00:06:46.200 --> 00:06:52.350 came about at the start of 2021. Noah was almost three years old. 00:06:52.740 --> 00:06:57.320 He was already showing signs of being the coolest little dude ever. 00:06:57.590 --> 00:07:00.470 And I'm not just saying that because he's my godson. 00:07:01.010 --> 00:07:04.850 Which brings me to the third thing you should know about the bears. 00:07:05.690 --> 00:07:12.350 They're a big part of our story. You see, Liesel is more than 00:07:12.350 --> 00:07:17.180 just Rue's best friend. They're each other's person and 00:07:17.180 --> 00:07:21.350 have been woven into the tapestry of each other's lives since 2004. 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:25.430 They studied at university together, organized each other's 00:07:25.430 --> 00:07:28.460 bachelorette parties. Helped each other into their 00:07:28.460 --> 00:07:33.560 respective wedding dresses. They've held each other up in 00:07:33.560 --> 00:07:37.100 good times and in bad. And as families, 00:07:37.100 --> 00:07:41.420 we've grown up together. Whenever Zoe landed in hospital, 00:07:41.720 --> 00:07:44.240 the two bears were the ones we called first. 00:07:45.110 --> 00:07:48.800 They were the ones who sat with us in the ER waiting rooms at 3:00 in 00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:54.260 the morning. No questions asked. They were just always there. 00:07:55.310 --> 00:08:01.330 So with them leaving South Africa, it's been a big change for all of us. 00:08:01.540 --> 00:08:05.770 Even Noah, even though he was only three when they left. 00:08:06.280 --> 00:08:11.080 I mean, he would sometimes asked, when are we going to grandma's house? 00:08:11.080 --> 00:08:16.630 Or when are we going to go see Omar? And then we'd explain where we live 00:08:16.630 --> 00:08:22.510 in Sweden now, and they're 10,000km away in South Africa, and we have a 00:08:22.510 --> 00:08:27.340 big map up on our dining room wall. And we put a pin on where Omar 00:08:27.340 --> 00:08:31.990 loves and where grandma loves. And then and this is where we love. 00:08:32.200 --> 00:08:35.980 He could understand that it's that it's far to go. 00:08:35.980 --> 00:08:39.040 And we'll see them next year or we'll see them soon. 00:08:39.040 --> 00:08:44.590 So he when I'm sad and he's like, I'm sad because I miss Auntie Roo. 00:08:45.100 --> 00:08:50.350 And then he would say, I know it's okay. I miss her too. 00:08:50.860 --> 00:08:56.550 And then we both feel better. I teach him like it's okay to 00:08:56.550 --> 00:08:59.880 feel sad. In all of his four year old wisdom at 00:08:59.880 --> 00:09:08.940 the time, he's been helping us deal. Noah turned 6 in 2024, and we had the 00:09:08.940 --> 00:09:12.390 joy of spending almost four weeks with our dear friends of the 2024 00:09:12.390 --> 00:09:17.880 festive period in sunny South Africa. There was one particularly warm 00:09:17.880 --> 00:09:21.060 day which Noah described as scorching hot. 00:09:22.860 --> 00:09:27.870 So, with the benefit of three years of hindsight, I asked Liesl again. 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:33.900 So why did you choose to move? So let me just dispel the higher 00:09:33.900 --> 00:09:38.520 pay cheque right now. Moving to Europe does not mean you're 00:09:38.520 --> 00:09:42.060 going to get paid more, because you also have to live in Europe. 00:09:42.600 --> 00:09:47.010 So it wasn't it wasn't money. We weren't moving away from 00:09:47.010 --> 00:09:50.520 something. We loved it year. Loved a house. 00:09:50.520 --> 00:09:55.850 We're close to family, friends. Um, my nonprofit that I started 00:09:55.850 --> 00:10:00.530 was taking off doing well. Uh, we'd managed we got out on 00:10:00.530 --> 00:10:06.440 the other side of Covid. It I there was no good reason to go. 00:10:07.160 --> 00:10:11.690 It was something that we were talked about ideally and dreamt about, 00:10:11.690 --> 00:10:13.940 like what it would be like to live in a different country for 00:10:13.940 --> 00:10:19.760 a while and imagine the things that we could see and experience. 00:10:19.760 --> 00:10:26.900 And we traveled a lot before then. So it really was naively as an 00:10:26.900 --> 00:10:30.770 adventure. My husband got an opportunity to 00:10:30.770 --> 00:10:38.420 work at a synchrotron in Europe, and you don't say no to that, 00:10:39.290 --> 00:10:44.630 to raise your child in a different society, to see so many things. 00:10:44.630 --> 00:10:47.630 Because all I've known all my life was Cape Town and South Africa, 00:10:47.630 --> 00:10:53.660 right? It was exciting, and I guess a 00:10:53.660 --> 00:10:57.310 part of me felt honored. We also have our ducks in a row. 00:10:57.340 --> 00:11:01.000 We were moving. And with that, 00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:05.620 the Jabez boarded the plane bound for Sweden in November of 2021, 00:11:05.620 --> 00:11:12.370 leaving behind work, their home, family, friends and a balmy South 00:11:12.370 --> 00:11:17.320 African summer to arrive in the snow dusted university town of Lunt. 00:11:18.010 --> 00:11:22.450 And this would be their new home. It was almost Christmas and it 00:11:22.450 --> 00:11:25.150 was magical. And I think in that first like 00:11:25.150 --> 00:11:28.660 two like month and a half, you kind of feel touristy. 00:11:28.660 --> 00:11:31.600 So you eat, you try everything and you taste everything. 00:11:31.780 --> 00:11:38.380 It is new vegetation, new temperatures, new birdsong. 00:11:38.710 --> 00:11:41.680 Because they don't have the same birds that we do. 00:11:41.830 --> 00:11:46.390 So there's no hodeidah, just the sounds in the trees or different, 00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:54.060 um, beautiful but different. And new shops, new Food. 00:11:54.210 --> 00:11:59.940 New smells. New color palettes. New housing structures. 00:12:00.060 --> 00:12:04.560 New road infrastructure. Driving on the new side of the road. 00:12:04.710 --> 00:12:10.290 New transport systems. New is wonderful and exciting. 00:12:10.290 --> 00:12:15.270 New is adventure. And when everything your senses 00:12:15.270 --> 00:12:19.950 encounter is new, it can also be exhausting. 00:12:20.550 --> 00:12:24.420 I woke up to the shortest days I've ever experienced in my life. 00:12:24.420 --> 00:12:32.280 So sunrise at 930, sunset at 330. And it went on like that for for 00:12:32.280 --> 00:12:36.210 two months. It was also jarring, like the first 00:12:36.210 --> 00:12:42.870 time your your son gets a flu and you walk into a pharmacy and you cannot 00:12:42.870 --> 00:12:47.880 read the labels on any medication. And so first, that was the first 00:12:47.880 --> 00:12:50.970 sort of time where I felt like, I can't do this. 00:12:50.970 --> 00:12:53.840 I can't take care of my son. How do I do this? 00:12:53.900 --> 00:13:00.410 Like, there's so much new things that your brain is completely 00:13:00.410 --> 00:13:09.290 occupied the whole time with taking things in that you don't have 00:13:09.800 --> 00:13:14.840 any more capacity really, to do the things that you normally do. 00:13:15.380 --> 00:13:20.210 And everything became was harder in that time, like like cooking basic. 00:13:20.210 --> 00:13:24.980 And you know, I'm a good cook, but like I struggled like, okay, 00:13:24.980 --> 00:13:28.580 now what do I need for Bolognaise again? Onions, tomato in a can. 00:13:28.580 --> 00:13:31.580 Okay. I can find that I can. This must be a picture on or a 00:13:31.580 --> 00:13:34.130 section in the shop. You know garlic you need. 00:13:34.310 --> 00:13:37.490 What's it called in Swedish wheat. Look. What the hell is that? 00:13:38.060 --> 00:13:41.270 I know I said there were three things you needed to know, 00:13:41.570 --> 00:13:48.740 but they're actually full. Liesel is a really, really good cook. 00:13:49.700 --> 00:13:52.790 I was struggling to do the basics because you have to shop in Swedish. 00:13:52.790 --> 00:13:56.470 You have to use your translate app all the time. 00:13:56.710 --> 00:14:01.060 What a shop would normally take me ten minutes here to 45 minutes. 00:14:01.810 --> 00:14:06.640 So I guess there was a bit of a fatigue that set in, 00:14:06.640 --> 00:14:13.270 and I realized that I if normally all could do 100 things a day, 00:14:13.270 --> 00:14:17.380 I probably I would scale that down to I can do 25 things a day. 00:14:18.370 --> 00:14:24.550 Uh, that's kind of the the downshifting of my gears. 00:14:24.550 --> 00:14:31.780 I had to do as a, a mum, a scientist, a parent, a wife, sister, friend. 00:14:32.020 --> 00:14:35.800 And you can see where the 100 things come in with all of those 00:14:35.800 --> 00:14:40.600 roles that we play. But I could do 25%, I think because 00:14:40.600 --> 00:14:44.740 I was learning a new language, I was it slowly became easier and I 00:14:44.740 --> 00:14:50.980 could shift up again to where I would say maybe after two years when I'd 00:14:50.980 --> 00:14:54.230 been through enough language classes. Um, 00:14:54.860 --> 00:15:01.970 and I had gotten a driver's license. Then I could feel that I got to maybe 00:15:01.970 --> 00:15:07.850 80 to 90% of what I was when I left. I remember the feeling of not being 00:15:07.850 --> 00:15:11.570 able to function at an optimal level when I was at the peak of burnout. 00:15:11.750 --> 00:15:18.500 So I know all too well how not being able to operate as 100% Liesel 00:15:18.710 --> 00:15:20.690 would have been hard for Liesel. 00:15:26.330 --> 00:15:32.360 And if you've ever felt that loss of self to my Sunday emailer 321 shift 00:15:32.360 --> 00:15:36.320 might help you find the path again. Think of it as a self-care. 00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:40.610 Pick me up from an overwhelmed dad. Every second Sunday, three things 00:15:40.610 --> 00:15:43.880 for your mind, two things for your body and one thing for your soul. 00:15:44.810 --> 00:15:47.270 Oh, and please remember to give something shifted a five star 00:15:47.270 --> 00:15:50.990 rating when you leave a review on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. 00:15:51.020 --> 00:15:54.190 I could read it on the podcasts, like this one from Jenny. 00:15:54.400 --> 00:15:57.910 Incredible vulnerability. I tend to cry at least once 00:15:57.910 --> 00:16:00.070 throughout each listen. Not because it's sad, 00:16:00.070 --> 00:16:04.210 but it's just open, honest, beautiful conversations that move 00:16:04.210 --> 00:16:08.350 you, that shift something in you. Thanks, Jenny, for leaving your 00:16:08.350 --> 00:16:11.920 review on Apple Podcasts, and I could be reading your review 00:16:11.920 --> 00:16:20.350 in the next episode of Something Shifted. Right. So where were we? 00:16:20.980 --> 00:16:26.050 Oh yes, we're in Sweden, and Liesel has been operating at 25%, 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:29.890 not quite feeling herself unable to figure things out quickly and 00:16:29.890 --> 00:16:33.400 grasp something immediately like she did back in South Africa. 00:16:33.910 --> 00:16:38.680 All the newness and learning was exhausting, but the newness and 00:16:38.680 --> 00:16:43.630 learning is also why she said yes to this call of adventure. 00:16:45.430 --> 00:16:51.540 From probably when I was a teen, I was an avid reader of fantasy 00:16:51.540 --> 00:16:54.810 and science fiction and bubblegum fiction and all of it. 00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:57.450 I would read everything and anything I could find. 00:16:58.380 --> 00:17:03.510 I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding. 00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:07.530 One of the reasons that I didn't become a doctor was the was 00:17:07.530 --> 00:17:11.310 because as a doctor, you really only do enough to be 00:17:11.310 --> 00:17:14.970 able to treat the patient. You never really get to understand 00:17:14.970 --> 00:17:19.440 unless that person goes into a clinical study. How? What happened? 00:17:19.860 --> 00:17:25.140 Um, so that the the why and the how and the mechanism was always 00:17:25.140 --> 00:17:28.350 fascinating to me. I mean, this is why I love 00:17:28.350 --> 00:17:32.040 needlework and sewing. I think it's because understanding 00:17:32.040 --> 00:17:36.720 how you could put like these 2D patterns together to, to fit and 00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:42.210 form a, around a 3D person. Like how does that work? 00:17:42.210 --> 00:17:48.300 Like the technique, the skill, or how do you make butter tastes 00:17:48.300 --> 00:17:51.980 like caramel. Like How it's, you know, like, 00:17:51.980 --> 00:17:55.430 you can hear it in my voice like that. It's fire in me. 00:17:55.430 --> 00:18:00.800 So wanting to know the how in the why is the basis of of my drive. 00:18:01.490 --> 00:18:08.720 And then on top of that is how do I also become financially 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:13.910 independent and able to, you know, stand on my own two feet? 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:19.070 That has driven my career. After Lisa completed her 00:18:19.070 --> 00:18:23.330 master's in grapevine virology, she immediately started work as an 00:18:23.330 --> 00:18:28.220 intern at a biotech startup in Cape Town, earning peanuts at first, 00:18:28.220 --> 00:18:31.970 which many of us did. Liesl worked in various departments. 00:18:31.970 --> 00:18:36.950 As the startup grew and grew, and it ultimately became part of a global 00:18:36.950 --> 00:18:43.640 company in those 11 years, Liesl said yes to many challenges figuring 00:18:43.640 --> 00:18:47.390 out solutions as she went along, enjoying the frustration and the 00:18:47.390 --> 00:18:52.780 thrill of experimenting and learning. The growing in the company that 00:18:52.780 --> 00:18:56.620 that I did made me feel like I can do anything, 00:18:57.370 --> 00:19:03.130 and I still have that delusion. I was saying to a friend the other 00:19:03.130 --> 00:19:08.200 day, like, I dare you to tell me I can't do something. And then. 00:19:08.980 --> 00:19:14.410 And then, yeah, watch me. I don't know where that comes from. 00:19:14.410 --> 00:19:16.870 That has to be in your DNA, right? Like. 00:19:17.620 --> 00:19:20.950 Even if Liesel doesn't know where that drive comes from, 00:19:20.950 --> 00:19:25.840 I can tell you where it's taken her. Although Liesel had thought she 00:19:25.840 --> 00:19:30.940 might be a lady of leisure for at least six months in Sweden, a casual 00:19:30.940 --> 00:19:33.640 visit to a lab facility in London. You know, 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:38.470 just to have a look around led to a job offer just one week later. 00:19:38.920 --> 00:19:42.370 So within two months of arriving in a brand new country, 00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:47.770 Liesel was back at work taking on new challenges and figuring 00:19:47.770 --> 00:19:52.440 things out as she went along. I was like, you know what I need 00:19:52.440 --> 00:19:54.690 to do? I need to make a friend. And you didn't have to be a 00:19:54.690 --> 00:19:56.850 Swedish friend. But I needed to make a friend on that 00:19:56.850 --> 00:20:01.830 side that I can confess things to. I don't think humans can live 00:20:01.830 --> 00:20:08.070 without, um, a friend. And I was worried a little bit 00:20:08.070 --> 00:20:10.980 that this friend that I'm making is only going to get a part of 00:20:11.160 --> 00:20:15.600 me that I can offer, because everything else is hard. 00:20:15.930 --> 00:20:20.610 And then I made friends who went through the same stuff I did, 00:20:20.610 --> 00:20:25.080 and they understood. Making friends has been lovely 00:20:25.230 --> 00:20:30.570 because it feels like I myself again. I invited a family over for a braai 00:20:30.810 --> 00:20:38.310 and I cooked and the cooking was easy and they were blown away. 00:20:38.310 --> 00:20:43.800 Like there was those moments that I kind of cemented in my in 00:20:43.800 --> 00:20:49.160 my brain to like, remind me, you know, who I, who I really am. 00:20:50.090 --> 00:20:54.530 For Liesl, the last three years have been an adventure. 00:20:55.010 --> 00:21:00.950 One way she's lost herself and slowly rediscovered the core of who 00:21:00.950 --> 00:21:08.090 she is in a completely new way. It's an odd feeling, 00:21:08.090 --> 00:21:15.860 like crying from happiness is odd. It's, for example, seeing a piece 00:21:15.860 --> 00:21:21.980 of infrastructure in Sweden that, you know, would help so many 00:21:21.980 --> 00:21:26.690 people in, in southern Africa. Like, if we could just implement 00:21:26.690 --> 00:21:32.990 this there, it's that so joyful that the technology exists, 00:21:32.990 --> 00:21:37.670 but then so sad that so few humans get to experience it. 00:21:37.820 --> 00:21:40.760 I think all of the new experiences, you may experience them for what 00:21:40.760 --> 00:21:43.040 they are like. You walk into the Lego store in 00:21:43.040 --> 00:21:49.900 Denmark and you know you. You know how your friends love 00:21:49.900 --> 00:21:53.530 Lego and you want them there with you next to you. 00:21:53.530 --> 00:21:58.000 And so my technique at that stage is to pretend that they're there 00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:02.140 and we're experiencing it together. That helps. 00:22:02.890 --> 00:22:05.230 You never know what your emotional response is going to be. 00:22:05.230 --> 00:22:09.220 So sometimes you're you experience something beautiful and then you cry 00:22:09.220 --> 00:22:17.710 or you see something sad and then you laugh because, yeah, it's it's 00:22:17.710 --> 00:22:23.230 very it's it's a hard place to be. It's like the in-between world. 00:22:23.230 --> 00:22:28.270 And I've since leaving had a lot of inspiration from other 00:22:28.270 --> 00:22:33.520 experts around the world. I see how they say that you're 00:22:33.520 --> 00:22:36.280 never you're never, ever going to fit in at home again. 00:22:38.260 --> 00:22:44.080 Perhaps that's the secret joy of saying yes to change to adventure and 00:22:44.080 --> 00:22:49.260 the unknown, knowing who you are and being comfortable with that knowledge 00:22:49.260 --> 00:22:53.730 so that you don't feel like you have to give up who you are to fit in. 00:22:54.180 --> 00:22:58.410 And unfortunately, you never truly feel that you fit in the new place. 00:22:59.040 --> 00:23:02.580 But honestly, that has always been true for me. I've. 00:23:02.700 --> 00:23:08.760 I've always been a coloured aunty from Cape Town, you know, 00:23:08.760 --> 00:23:13.980 with a masters in virology. I've always been a little, 00:23:13.980 --> 00:23:18.420 a lot different. I always find myself in unexpected 00:23:18.420 --> 00:23:25.290 situations and I, I definitely have the skills and the mindset and 00:23:25.290 --> 00:23:33.210 the strength to to deal with it and love it. Liesel is loving it. 00:23:33.330 --> 00:23:38.730 Thankfully with someone that is steadfast and always by her side and. 00:23:38.730 --> 00:23:45.300 On most of the time has the opposite reaction to most things than I have. 00:23:45.750 --> 00:23:54.170 Mine is always very strongly emotional and he is always very 00:23:54.170 --> 00:24:01.010 logical and factual. Being even keeled is probably the the 00:24:01.010 --> 00:24:08.720 thing that I value the most in him. It is the long term sort of 00:24:09.020 --> 00:24:13.550 anchor to my kite, like if I am blowing in the wind. 00:24:13.580 --> 00:24:21.500 He's he's just my, my anchor. And that happens daily and 00:24:21.500 --> 00:24:24.590 effortlessly for him, for him, for the rest of us, 00:24:24.590 --> 00:24:31.130 we're blowing in the wind. And with Leslie's passion and Anton's 00:24:31.130 --> 00:24:36.020 steadiness, Noah is developing his own sense of curiosity. 00:24:37.760 --> 00:24:41.240 Like I wanted him to be able to deal or see big feelings and 00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:45.680 deal with big feelings. Um, as soon as he was able to, 00:24:45.740 --> 00:24:51.850 to see and understand. And I think that kids can survive 00:24:51.850 --> 00:24:56.470 most things as long as they know that they caregivers love them 00:24:56.470 --> 00:25:01.030 and are there for them. And the rest is it doesn't matter 00:25:01.030 --> 00:25:05.020 actually where you are in the world or how cold it is outside. 00:25:05.530 --> 00:25:09.070 It's the fun and the joy and the love that you have when you're 00:25:09.070 --> 00:25:13.540 spending time together as a family. I've asked him already, like, 00:25:13.780 --> 00:25:16.630 are you happy or sad that we left South Africa? 00:25:16.900 --> 00:25:19.450 And then he would say things like happy and sad. 00:25:20.020 --> 00:25:25.960 And so he, he gets it, uh, and he he accepts it. 00:25:25.990 --> 00:25:30.610 He doesn't question my decisions yet. Maybe he will. 00:25:30.610 --> 00:25:37.480 And I will say, I'll probably say we made the decision for all the for 00:25:37.480 --> 00:25:42.880 all three of us, it was more job opportunities and a chance to learn 00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:50.310 more things for all three of us. And it was we. It was an adventure. 00:25:50.700 --> 00:25:55.170 We were going to do something completely new. And we did it for. 00:25:55.170 --> 00:26:02.550 For fun, for interest, for excitement, for for like, 00:26:02.550 --> 00:26:06.810 love of life. I think that's how I would 00:26:06.810 --> 00:26:12.540 describe it to an older Noah. And so when we light a brai on a 00:26:12.540 --> 00:26:16.410 scorching summer evening, we take a page from Liza's book 00:26:16.410 --> 00:26:19.470 and imagine that they are here enjoying it with us. 00:26:20.280 --> 00:26:24.240 Or we picture the bears in a snowy winter wonderland. 00:26:24.360 --> 00:26:30.390 Noah learning how to ski, and Liesel and Anton holding hands, anchoring 00:26:30.390 --> 00:26:33.450 each other in the face of adventure. 00:26:39.840 --> 00:26:42.360 Thank you for listening to this episode of Something Shifted. 00:26:42.390 --> 00:26:45.150 You can follow something shifted on Apple Podcasts or your 00:26:45.170 --> 00:26:48.440 favorite podcast player and give it a five star review. 00:26:48.470 --> 00:26:51.650 Go on, I know you want to. And then be sure to share this 00:26:51.650 --> 00:26:55.340 episode with your friends and family. Also, remember to use my code 00:26:55.340 --> 00:26:59.480 Hash Shift 50 at checkout when you place your first order on you 00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:05.390 KuCoin and you'll get 50% off. You can find me on Instagram at Sean 00:27:05.390 --> 00:27:10.280 Lewis and my mailing list is three, two, one shift and out every 00:27:10.280 --> 00:27:14.690 second Sunday. Think of it as a self-care blitz, 00:27:14.690 --> 00:27:17.840 giving you three things for your mind, two things for your body 00:27:17.840 --> 00:27:20.900 and one thing for your soul. Plus, along the way, 00:27:20.990 --> 00:27:24.680 a few little extra fun surprises. All of the links are in the 00:27:24.680 --> 00:27:27.560 episode's show notes. Thanks, as always to my executive 00:27:27.560 --> 00:27:31.640 producer, Rwanda, and to you for believing in possibility. 00:27:32.150 --> 00:27:39.590 My name is Sean and this is something shifted. See you in two weeks. Bye.